Decisions

JOY SCALE: 10/10

Hi Everyone, I hope you all had a great weekend. Today's post concerns something that I would like to share with you. From June 2007 to July 2008I was a zombie. I had so much morphine and fentanyl running through my body that I couldn't stay awake no matter what. Around June 2008 I had an intrathecal pump installed. This pump delivered a morphine solution to my spinal fluid which drastically reduced the side effects of the morphine. The fentanyl was also stopped. Don't get me wrong, there was still a lot of pain that I had to deal with. My pump could be adjusted to reduce my pain to the point that I was a zombie again; however I opted to try and live with my pain and stay awake. So since August of last year I have managed to tolerate my pain and, at the same time, remain awake enough to interact with people. I think that some people still wish I was still a zombie because I have a big mouth and I say what I think without using a filter. Yes I was brought up in a barn with no doors. There is always a trade off and I guess, in this case, it is that some people get aggravated by me. Heck there are times when I get aggravated by me! I know that I need to work on my lack of filter and I am sure that will come in time. I don't know if any of you out there will have the same choices that I have had, but at least you are now aware what you might do if you were in a similar situation as me. This is one of many decisions I might make as my future unfolds. I hope this post will help you in your own life.
Peace and Love to All