Where It All Began

JOY SCALE: 8/10
Hi Everyone, Today is an important day for me. Forty years ago (I remember this as if it were happening right now) during the Vietnam War I was a 19 year old soldier in Cambodia doing a Search and Destroy mission. During that mission our point man was shot and a couple of us managed to get to him back to the rear and put him on a medical chopper. Our small unit was taking a break when all of a sudden we were surrounded by North Vietnamese. We all returned fire and the next thing I remember was looking at my right forearm and seeing a big hole in it. At the same time my face felt like someone had hit me with a baseball bat. Blood was pouring from my face and onto my M-16. I was going into shock, but I managed to summon a medic to help me. He patched me up as quick as possible and got me onto a medical chopper. I remember everything right up until I went into surgery back in a MASH unit in Vietnam. Later I found out that I was shot in my back, my right leg, my forearm, and my jaw. My jaw was the worse one. I lost part of my lower gum, teeth, and the front of my jawbone was shattered. At first I was devastated over what had happened especially about my face. It was all swelled up, black and blue, and my jaw was wired up. The rest of my gunshot wounds were bad, but l could handle those much better than having my face disfigured. Then I realized that I was still alive after being shot four times. All of my gunshots managed to hit me at an angle. That is because of the position I was during the shootout. If I had of been in any other position the bullets would have penetrated vital organs. I was one lucky soldier. I was alive for a reason. My vanity slipped away and gratitude took it's place despite the excruciating pain. I spent six months recovering in Chelsea Naval Hospital near Boston Massachusetts. My wounds slowly healed, but the pain was relentless. The doctors told me that I would have pain for the rest of my life. I was retired medically from the Army and given 100% temporary disability for two year which then was reduced to 60% permanent disability. Over the years I tried to ease the pain with drugs and alcohol, but that never seemed to work. I was depressed most of the time. Fourteen car totals and two suicide attempts later I gave up drugs and alcohol. I eventually learned to live with my pain and that seemed to lessen it a little. I now realize that all those years of pain were preparing me for living with the terrible pain created from my bone tumors. The Morphine that is pumped into my intrathecal space 24/7 only works on my mind. My mind tricks me into believing that my pain is less even though it remains at the same level. My advice when it comes to pain management is to accept and learn to live with the pain if at all possible. Embrace the pain. That modality compliments any medication program. I'm not saying that your pain will stop, but you never know. Trust in the process. Take a leap of faith.
Before I go I would like to share a funny story from the time I was in the MASH unit. Well actually at the time it wasn't so funny, but now I can laugh about it. Before my surgery I was laying on a gurney waiting for an Xray. My IV was hanging on the wall next to me. A nurse came up and started to wheel me into Xray, but there was a problem. The nurse had forgotten about my IV and I was frantically trying to get her attention. My mouth was so damaged that speaking was out of the question so all I could do was grunt and move my head in that direction. I was watching the IV tubing get tighter and tighter and just when I thought my IV catheter would be pulled out she finally noticed and stopped. Whew. Wait my story isn't over yet. When she got me into Xray the technician leaned over the end of my gurney to get an Xray plate . When the technician came back up and over my gurney with the plate in his hands he accidentally dropped the Xray plate on my crotch. Ouch! What a time I was having.
I also learned that Agent Orange had been used in Vietnam and Cambodia. I was put on an Agent Orange Registry. AO is known to cause quite a few diseases one of which is prostate cancer. Could this be where it all started?
Thanks for sharing in another one of my emotional yearly celebrations. I expect to honor June 13 for many years to come.
Peace and Love to All